


Dear Diary (cookies??)

by Malaayna



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Clueless Boys, F/F, F/M, Jasico - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Social Anxiety, anxiety attacks mentioned, coming together, diary entry, panic attacks mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 16:12:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4841966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malaayna/pseuds/Malaayna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A diary entry from Nico's diary. The day of Jason's 22nd birthday. Clueless boys finally getting together.<br/>6 years post-canon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Diary (cookies??)

**Author's Note:**

> In my headcanon Will and Nico took 1 year after the war against Gaea to start dating. They then stayed together for 4 years, but mutually ended things. They're on good terms but due to Nico's social anxiety, he still finds it a bit awkward. When they we're together, Will diagnosed (I know he isn't technically certified to do so but still ) Nico with social anxiety and PTSD. While helping Nico with his anxiety attacks he got Nico to start writing in a diary, to help him try to deal with the invasive thoughts etc. Nico has been writing in his diary for about 2 years now so he's quite good at it.  
> After him and Will broke up, he dealt with his disorders by himself for about a year and a half, but then was starting to have trouble coping. When he was confiding in Jason one day, Jason mentioned Asclepius and that maybe he could help Nico. So Jason and Percy pulled some stings with their fathers to allow Asclepius to treat Nico.  
> He's been seeing the Dr via Iris messages for about 3 months. 
> 
> please enjoy :)

Dear Diary,

Jason Grace's 22nd Birthday. If someone had of told me six years ago that the lovable idiot would be my best friend, I would have thought them a few bodies short of a cemetery.  
Yet there I was, sitting next to him on the sand by the bonfire, watching all our drunken friends. That's another thing I never could have foreseen, having actual dorky friends that I could laugh at. Yet that happened as well.  
Even though things with Will hadn't worked out, I'd never been happier. We're still friends, well awkward aquaintences if I'm being honest, I guess we just didn't fit together.  
He was always babying me, had this constant need to know exactly where I was. Half the time I didn't even know where I was, so I guess it was destined to fail. I wouldn't take back the relationship though. I'd learnt so much about myself. 'Finally come out of your shell' Hazel had said. And I suppose she was right. As draining as normal human interaction still is for me, I now find that our small group of friends no longer have that effect on me. Social Anxiety Will said. I guess it's nice to know it has a name. Same with the PTSD. 

But I'm getting off the track.  
Back to Jason's party.

Him and I we're sitting on the sand beside the bonfire eating a slice each of the birthday cake Hazel had made for the occasion (NOT blue, much to Percy's drunken dismay).  
We were just talking about everything and anything, while watching our friends be inebriated idiots.  
Which is alot more entertaining than I ever thought possible. 

Percy and Leo were play - fighting, which consisted of Leo setting himself on fire, and Percy dousing him in sea water. Repeatedly.  
Annabeth and Juniper were inventing increasingly ridiculous animal hybrids, with Frank attempting to transform into all of them, with varying levels of success.  
Rachel and Hazel were painting each others faces with cake icing. One would paint the other's face, surprisingly they were creating some quite beautiful art, which the artist would then lick off, with the canvas giggling. They would then swap and begin again.  
Reyna was, uncharacteristically, drunk off her face. I guess leaving the legion was affecting her more than she was letting on. She was having an extremely animated conversation with Grover, which from what I could gather, was about how she simply could not conceive how he was able to stand upright.  
She was ranting about how, unless he had a human pelvis and reinforced marrow, his goat legs wouldn't be able to support all his weight at its current angle.  
He would then reply, loudly (but really, what other volume do intoxicated beings have?), that if she could accept flying horses, which by rights, should have a pair of bird shoulder blades behind their withers, why couldn't she just accept that magic was fucking weird and stop pestering him.  
To which she would slur back, "But, like, it just doesn't make any sense!"

My eyes scanned the crowd further. The majority of the younger Greek and Roman partygoers had already retreated back to the cabins, leaving only a few handfulls of older, considerably drunker, guests behind.

I saw Will leaving with Butch. That still made me scratch my head. Apparently Butch lapped up the attention that Will threw at him,so I suppose it must work. They were saying goodnight to some friends. Cecil was asleep under one of the trees, tangled with his siblings Travis and Connor, also snoring like chainsaws.  
So that only left Lou Ellen and....Piper.  
Holding hands. ...hmmm.  
That was new. I mean I knew her and Jason had split about a year ago, but I never would have pegged her as part of the LGBTI+ community. I suppose that makes her bisexual, or was it pansexual. Or maybe asexual?  
I remember Jason confiding in me once that she was sex - repulsed. Does that make you asexual?  
I know it's been six years since I came out, but all the other sexual and romantic orientations still confuse the shit out of me.

Anyway, back to the party.

My eyes drifted from all my adorably ridiculous friends back to Jason. His eyes quickly darted away from mine. I didn't think much of it, I do tend to have that effect on people, being the son of Hades. But I thought he would have gotten used to that after a little over six years of knowing me. But I didn't think any more of it.

I asked him how the temple building was going. He'd been in New Rome for about 5 months before tonight, and even though we Iris messaged every week, you'd be amazed how many details get forgotten until you're face-to-face again.  
He said he'd just finished the 'water subsection ' (he said it with finger quotes) of the minor deities and he was going to start writing up plans for the air deities, after he had a small break. 

He asked how my Iris appointments with Asclepius were going. I first thanked him for pulling some strings with his dad to allow Asclepius to treat me, as being treated by Will was kind of awkward since we'd split.  
I then told him about how the Dr has got me trying a new medication for my PTSD. I pretty much have my social anxiety under control, but the PTSD was still causing me trouble. I told him how the new meds seem to be working, I'd only had 2 anxiety attacks, and 4 nightmares in the last 3 weeks, but it was still early days yet, so I was still crossing my fingers.  
He then said he was "So super happy for you Neeks! "  
Then practically tackled me in a bear hug. I couldn't tell if it was good or bad nervous butterflies attacking my stomach lining.

As he was finishing his cake he noticed Piper and Lou Ellen hanging off each other, kissing each others cheeks and giggling.  
His expression was unreadable for a split second before he looked down.

I decided to try to lighten the mood by saying, " So what's it like seeing your ex joining the dark side?"  
I know he saw me grin, as he laughed and replied with a big smile that "Its not that bad. She's happy. That's all that matters." Then he got this goofy look on his face as he asked me,"Is it true about the cookies? "

I snorted. Since the end of the war, I've been 'educated ' about the modern world by my friends. So now, more often than not, I actually understand references.  
"Sorry. That's a heavily guarded secret. You'd have to join us to find out." I replied with a shit-eating grin.

And then, Oh my Gods, I nearly choked on my cake when he replied, with this wicked look in his eyes, one eyebrow raised, "Who says I haven't already?"

I'd be lying if I said i didn't blush.  
And then I'm afraid my brain deserted me. It allowed my mouth to ask him if he had joined for anyone in particular.  
Well, then it was his turn to blush. We couldn't meet each other's eyes for a few seconds, both rapidly becoming as red as beets.

Just as I was about to ask if he'd wanna test the waters with me, Piper yelled, loudly enough for the entire camp to hear, "FOR THE LOVE OF APHRODITE! JUST KISS ALREADY! I CAN FEEL YOUR ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL TENSION FROM HERE!", which left Lou Ellen a giggling mess, hanging off her neck. Everyone else just stared at Piper, and then at us.

I could feel an anxiety attack threatening to strike. My heart felt like it was going to find a knife and stab itself.  
I flopped back onto the sand, squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as I could, digging my fingernails into my scalp.  
I asked Jason if he'd hate me if I shadow-travelled out of his party.  
He replied, so softly I almost didn't hear him, "Only if you didn't take me with you."  
That definitely wasn't the answer I was expecting. I opened my eyes and turned my head to my best friend, who was now lying on his back, face obviously ripe for picking.  
I honestly didn't know what to say, so I just stared incredulously at him.

I didn't think it possible, but he blushed further and then started stammering about how, Piper was right about his feelings, but that she mightn't have gotten my feelings right, and that it was okay if I didn't feel the same and he didn't want me to get awkward and that he was feeling all weird and fuzzy and why was I looking at him like he had two heads?  
Okay that last bit was my fault. I couldn't help it. There was no way he had those sort of feeling for me.  
My brain was clearly malfunctioning, as the only thing I was able to do was turn my body to face him, just staring at him. I could feel a small smile forming on my lips. 

And then my 1940's started showing.  
I couldn't stop my mouth. I asked him if I could kiss him. Like I actually asked! What kind of idiot asks that?!  
I said it so quietly that I didn't think he heard me.  
But his eyes widened and he mumbled something like, "um....if you want to."

So I did it. I actually kissed him. Considering we were both sober (him because of his mom, me because hangovers feel like anxiety attacks. Seriously, why would peple knowingly make themselves feel like that?)  
His lips were really soft. A little chapped from him chewing them, but I honestly didn't care. I was in Elysium. 

Then my 1940's kicked in again, and I got nervous and started pulling away.  
But then his hand was on my cheek and his lips were back on mine.  
My lips started moving against his and it was just mind-numbing bliss. 

Then he licked my bottom lip, and I swear I literally saw my '1940's' get kicked out of my head.  
His tongue sent a tingle of electricity to my lip and all my control just disappeared.  
I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled myself flush against his body. I pushed my tongue into his mouth and ran it along the length of his, just savoring the taste.  
His lips stretched into a large smile against my mouth.  
My heart did a Grinch (yes they forced me to watch that one Christmas ) and grew two sizes.  
My hands were stroking the skin where his jaw joined his neck, his hands on my cheeks stroking my cheekbones.

By that stage I was smiling too. I'm not sure if you've ever tried kissing while smiling (of course you haven't you're a book ) but it is quite hard.  
We pressed a few more chaste kisses to each others lips and pulled away.

Our foreheads were touching as we just stared into each others eyes, smiling and trying to remember how to breathe.  
My brain deserted me yet again as I whispered, "Welcome to the Dark Side. That definitely deserves a cookie."  
Jason's eyes sparkled as he started giggling, gradually progressing into a belly aching laugh.  
Even though I'd heard him laugh hole heartedly before, the sound of such unabashed happiness still made my heart sing.  
I couldn't help it. I started laughing too. Until I was crying.

We were just coming down from our high, still tangled in each other's limbs, when we heard cheering. And it felt like we simultaneously groaned, as we remembered where we were.

Jason sat up and I pushed myself up onto my elbows, as our drunken friends were whooping, hollering and cheering at us.  
I think I saw Piper and Leo exchanging money out of the corner of my eye.

I was just about to lie back down, and attempt to bury myself in sand, when Jason stood up and held his hand out for me, an expectant look in his eyes and a smile on his lips. I could hardly bury myself in sand with him looking at me like that.  
I rolled my eyes and took his hand, failing miserably at hiding my smile.  
He dragged me into the throng of about a dozen or so people still left at the party, all of them our friends.  
I got a few congratulatory slaps on the back, Jason got more than I did. A few bro hugs and normal hugs were given to both of us. We also both got a cheek kiss from Hazel. 

Turns out Jason and I were the only ones who didn't know about the mutual feelings. Typical.  
We stayed up for a few more hours, dancing and talking with our friends. Jason's hand never left mine.

Eventually it was only us and Reyna left on the beach. The bonfire had died down about 2 hours before.  
She kept giving both of us death glares, as if she couldn't decide who's head she would rather see implode.  
Finally she pointed at us, though I couldn't tell who she pointed to first as she was swaying too much.  
She cleared her throat, went to say something, muttered something incoherent in Spanish, then threw her hands in the air and slurred, "Ohscrewitt. Yorr both adults. Plus I dunwanna have ta choose who's neck to break. So I'm jusgonna say this. Use protektion and luuuuuuuube."  
She then giggled as mine and Jason's mouths hung open.  
She then hiccupped and tripped into Jason's arms.

Jason and I then escorted (see: practically carried) the giggling Reyna, who kept looking from me to Jason, mumbling "butts" and snickering to herself, to the Athena cabin where she was staying.  
She kissed us both on the cheek (very un-Reyna) and wished us 'goodluck with tha buttsex', followed by another wave of giggles as she closed the door behind her.  
We stared at the door for a moment before Jason grabbed my hand, pulling me away from the Athena cabin, as if the further away we got from drunk Reyna the better.

We walked silently to the Hades cabin, hand-in-hand. As we reached door, much too soon, he turned me around and grabbed my other hand.  
We just stood there, face-to-face and hand-in-hand, smiling at each other.  
After a moment, he started chuckling, shaking his head as he said, "Who knew drunk Reyna would be so much like sober Leo?"  
I snorted. "We aren't going to let her forget that are we?" I asked.  
"No way in hell." He replied, pulling me closer to him and pulling me into a hug.  
Even though I'm slightly taller than him now, I swear, it still feels like I fit perfectly into his hugs.

We stayed like that for what should have been an uncomfortable amount of time, but it just felt right. I know I was grinning like a fool, and when he pulled back, I saw that he was doing the same.  
He looked me in the eyes, suddenly getting a serious look on his face. "I better not wake up in the morning and find out this was a dream." He said.  
So I did the only rational thing.  
I slapped him on the cheek.  
Don't worry I didn't do it hard. 

He looked so shocked I almost laughed. Instead I settled on a shit-eating grin.  
"It's clearly not a dream is it." I said to him.  
Understanding swept over his face. Then he held my cheeks and pulled me into another breathtaking kiss. (No pun intended)  
Two in one night. I could get used to this.  
After a few more increasingly chaste kisses,he smiled at me and said he hoped I slept well. I couldn't get my mouth to form anything but a sleepy little smile, so I just nodded.  
"See you tomorrow Neeks. " he said.  
Again, my mouth and brain were not cooperating, so I just nodded again, mumbled a 'mmhhmmm' , and kissed him again.

He pulled away and started to walk to his cabin. I swear his feet weren't even touching the ground. Like literally floating on air. I watched him until he was inside Cabin 1, then went into my own cabin, closed the door and lay on my bed.  
Smiled at the roof for what felt like forever.  
And now I'm writing it all down.  
As much as I loved today, I can't wait till tomorrow.  
I think my jaw is starting to cramp from smiling.

Goodnight Diary.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so Will and Nico's relationship is kind of based on mine and my ex's relationship. He was too stifling, and I can just see Will being like that.  
> Also I feel that hangovers (and being drunk) feels like the early stages of my anxiety attacks, so I thought I'd add that.


End file.
